When it comes to confidence, everyone seems to have an opinion on what it is and how to build it. But as with many aspects of personal growth, confidence is often misunderstood. Many people think that confidence is something you’re born with, or that it’s all about being perfect and fearless. In reality, confidence is a skill—one that requires time, self-reflection, and effort to build. Today, let’s dig into some of the biggest myths around confidence and uncover the truths behind them.

Myth #1: Confidence Means Never Feeling Self-Doubt

The Truth: Even the most confident people experience self-doubt. Confidence isn’t the absence of fear or uncertainty; it’s the willingness to take action despite those feelings. A confident person feels the doubt, acknowledges it, and moves forward anyway. Self-doubt is normal, and learning to work with it rather than against it is key to building lasting confidence. Next time you feel uncertain, remember: it’s not about eliminating doubt but about taking action in the face of it.

Myth #2: Confidence Is Something You’re Born With

The Truth: Confidence isn’t a fixed trait; it’s a skill you develop over time. People often believe that confidence is something you either have or don’t, but research shows that it’s built through experience, perseverance, and learning from setbacks. Small wins and consistent action are what create confidence. Each time you face a challenge and learn from it, you’re “stacking” experiences that build your self-assurance over time.

Myth #4: Confidence Equals Extroversion

The Truth: Confidence doesn’t look the same for everyone, and it’s not synonymous with being loud or outgoing. Introverts can be just as confident as extroverts, even if they express it differently. While an extrovert might show confidence by speaking up in a crowd, an introvert’s confidence may shine through in their calm, thoughtful presence or their ability to hold one-on-one conversations. True confidence is about feeling secure in who you are, regardless of how you present yourself.

Myth #5: Confidence Comes From External Validation

The Truth: While external recognition feels good, real confidence is internal. If your confidence relies solely on others’ opinions, it can crumble the moment you face criticism. Lasting confidence comes from knowing your own value and believing in your abilities, independent of what others think. By shifting the focus inward and recognizing your own worth, you build confidence that remains strong, even when external validation isn’t there.

Myth #7: Once You’re Confident, You’ll Always Be Confident

The Truth: Confidence isn’t a permanent state—it can ebb and flow depending on life circumstances and challenges. Just as with any skill, confidence requires regular nurturing. Sometimes, even the most self-assured people feel less confident during tough times, and that’s okay. Recognizing that confidence is fluid allows you to be kinder to yourself in those moments and to see them as opportunities to grow, rather than failures.

Myth #9: Confidence Means Not Caring What Others Think

The Truth: Many people think confident individuals are completely unaffected by others’ opinions, but that’s not entirely true. Confident people do care about others’ perspectives—they just don’t let those opinions define their self-worth. They have a strong sense of who they are, so while they’re open to constructive feedback, they can differentiate between helpful advice and unhelpful criticism. It’s about finding a healthy balance between valuing others’ input and maintaining your own sense of self.

Myth #10: Confidence Equals Arrogance

The Truth: Confidence and arrogance are often mistaken for one another, but they’re fundamentally different. Arrogance is rooted in insecurity and the need to prove one’s worth by comparing oneself to others. Confidence, on the other hand, is rooted in self-assurance and empathy. Confident people don’t feel the need to belittle others; they lift people up because they feel secure in themselves. Understanding this difference helps us see that true confidence is about self-respect, not superiority.

Myth #11: Confidence Can Be Built Overnight with Quick Fixes

The Truth: There’s no instant shortcut to real confidence. It’s a journey that requires consistent effort, self-reflection, and a willingness to grow. Dr. Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset emphasizes that confidence is built over time by embracing challenges, learning from mistakes, and building resilience. Quick fixes or temporary boosts might feel good in the short term, but genuine confidence is a long-term commitment.

Conclusion

Confidence is a powerful asset, but it’s often misunderstood. The myths around confidence can make it seem unattainable, especially if we believe that it requires perfection, constant positivity, or an unshakable facade. True confidence isn’t about performing flawlessly or ignoring all outside opinions—it’s about developing a secure sense of self that can withstand life’s ups and downs.

By letting go of these myths and focusing on building self-worth, resilience, and self-belief, we can create a confidence that’s authentic, sustainable, and uniquely ours. Confidence is a journey, not a destination—one that grows stronger with each step. 💙✨

xo, Sofia Edlund